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It has been a pretty busy few weeks. Ahma was admitted to hospital for observation as she had been feeling giddy and dizzy for a week, and for a while there was discussion over whether she would require a pacemaker fitted (she doesn't). She's 87, and still rather fit if not for her erratic and very worrisome high blood pressure. But she's recuperating rather quickly, which means I'm rushing to catch up with work.

This, coupled with a few tiffs with people whom I ordinarily would not get upset over, made me wonder if I have changed. I really feel different, and do not think it's necessarily due to the stressful situation that I bit back. Ordinarily, I let a lot of things slide, as I feel they're not worth my time feeling negative over. But lately, I just feel that this gives rise to a lot of misunderstandings, as people do not realize that yes, I -do- have a temper, and I certainly do not give leeway when I feel that I'm being treated unfairly. I learnt a very difficult lesson a few years back where I lost the only close friend I had, just because I chose to let her negative behaviour slide, and we all know being rewarded for bad behaviour just means they think it's alright to keep behaving the way they do.

I used to think that it was my fault. If I'm all tetchy I don't necessarily voice it out. I am rather expressionless, as many have told me means lots of room for misunderstandings. I don't know why it is I am the way I am, as I have really a lot of emotions and thoughts teeming which always feel as if I'm dying to burst out, but the rational side to me keeps everything in check. Given the familial and physical pressures I'm always under, I thought it wise for me to keep the temper in check, and to pick my battles. However I'm really feeling rather taut lately. Socializing also saps all my energy, and I think I've been doing that too much the past few weeks. 

Perhaps it's age, perhaps it's stress, weather, whatever the reason, I just don't want to keep controlling my emotions and being 'perfect' anymore. I'm sick of feeling as if I were taken for granted, and if people are expressing ungratefulness, I fucking damn well will tick them off. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense, I don't want to be anybody's punching bag, and I bloody well have to stop letting them think it's okay to treat me as one.

Also, given the person whom I confide in the most is also under a lot of pressure, I don't feel he needs to bear the brunt of my rants and ramblings, and actually, I do feel much better a lot faster if left alone to sort things out, as I have now. 

And I'm feeling all the better for it :) 

Thanks for reading.
There are many times I've sat down in front of the computer, started on a lengthy journal entry, vetted it and then closed the page before submitting.

Lately, I have done this more frequently.

I think I'm ready to acknowledge that some things should not remain buried. 

But, they are not secrets.

They are rotten foundations which need to be replaced. In order to do so, a lot of digging is necessary.

We are all work-in-progresses. 

Gotta love coffee. 
Thank you thank you dA! You have been most kind to me! XD

snowfern.deviantart.com/art/1-…

Big big thanks to smallcreationsbymel.deviantart… for the submission, and to 
cakecrumbs.deviantart.com/ for the feature! Please send them some love, their work is eye opening O.O 
It's again the time of the month where I start on painkillers, and that means my mind goes into random little crevices.

- My middle brother has this phrase to describe us two, and dad. We are the type of people who can 'self-amuse', and this is often brought up whenever people remark that we (as individuals, not together) are 'different' in that, we have no problems eating alone, or are not as sociable as they are. I won't speak for him, but I think this is a character trait that I -used to- think everyone shared, but have lately observed not to be true. This "self-amusement" on my end involved endless crafts, books, computer games, programming (?!), swimming (!!), general introverted goodness. I often hear ex-classmates and ex-colleagues moan about being bored, lonely,  wanting to make appointments for whatever activity, be it partaking of meals or sports. When I get such invites, sure, I go, more out of curiosity than anticipation of social activity. Of course, there are moments where I crave human contact, but more tactile than a meshing of minds. The internet takes care of the latter. It also does away with the messiness of body language, which I cringe at.

- My mother once brought back 2 books for me to peruse, "Body language", and I forget the other, also by Allan and Barbara Pease. I was only about 8, and she had become tired of telling me to look at her when I talk. Till today, I have problems maintaining eye contact, I either hold it too long (hostile) or too short (uninterested). I am neither, and often it requires a lot more concentration for me to try and maintain a face-to-face conversation and listen to what people are trying to tell me at the same time. Facial expressions are something I had to learn to convey, and it's easier for me to just smile and grin at every situation, makes for a friendlier atmosphere anyway, and it's fun! It just makes me look like a crazy person most of the time I s'pose. Which isn't untrue either ;)

- Painkillers are the most abused group of medicines these days. I can see why. I have 4 different painkillers, the strongest being Etoricoxib at the moment, and I hope it doesn't get any stronger. Naproxen Sodium seems to be working well, Mefenemic Acid is pretty worthless, I like Tranexamic Acid although the accompanying pamphlet makes me nervous. Out of all these pills, the one I dread is....THE FUCKING ANTACID. I went to bed thinking how to make it easier, like, should I crush it and mix it with a little bit of water to gulp it down? Got too lazy this morning, and UGHHHHH I just really hate how it grates against my teeth as I grind down, and how it gets stuck in my molars. 

Really should get back to editing those photos. 

/brainfarts off

p.s. written after a loooong 2 weeks of having to deal with crowds of people, well-wishers and generally, too many people in a short period of time. It.is.exhausting. I don't know how extroverts do it. 
It's again the time of the month where I start on painkillers, and that means my mind goes into random little crevices.

- My middle brother has this phrase to describe us two, and dad. We are the type of people who can 'self-amuse', and this is often brought up whenever people remark that we (as individuals, not together) are 'different' in that, we have no problems eating alone, or are not as sociable as they are. I won't speak for him, but I think this is a character trait that I -used to- think everyone shared, but have lately observed not to be true. This "self-amusement" on my end involved endless crafts, books, computer games, programming (?!), swimming (!!), general introverted goodness. I often hear ex-classmates and ex-colleagues moan about being bored, lonely,  wanting to make appointments for whatever activity, be it partaking of meals or sports. When I get such invites, sure, I go, more out of curiosity than anticipation of social activity. Of course, there are moments where I crave human contact, but more tactile than a meshing of minds. The internet takes care of the latter. It also does away with the messiness of body language, which I cringe at.

- My mother once brought back 2 books for me to peruse, "Body language", and I forget the other, also by Allan and Barbara Pease. I was only about 8, and she had become tired of telling me to look at her when I talk. Till today, I have problems maintaining eye contact, I either hold it too long (hostile) or too short (uninterested). I am neither, and often it requires a lot more concentration for me to try and maintain a face-to-face conversation and listen to what people are trying to tell me at the same time. Facial expressions are something I had to learn to convey, and it's easier for me to just smile and grin at every situation, makes for a friendlier atmosphere anyway, and it's fun! It just makes me look like a crazy person most of the time I s'pose. Which isn't untrue either ;)

- Painkillers are the most abused group of medicines these days. I can see why. I have 4 different painkillers, the strongest being Etoricoxib at the moment, and I hope it doesn't get any stronger. Naproxen Sodium seems to be working well, Mefenemic Acid is pretty worthless, I like Tranexamic Acid although the accompanying pamphlet makes me nervous. Out of all these pills, the one I dread is....THE FUCKING ANTACID. I went to bed thinking how to make it easier, like, should I crush it and mix it with a little bit of water to gulp it down? Got too lazy this morning, and UGHHHHH I just really hate how it grates against my teeth as I grind down, and how it gets stuck in my molars. 

Really should get back to editing those photos. 

/brainfarts off
Few things running simultaneously through my head today, and in an attempt to jump start my body, ordered a glass of kopipeng xiu dai (iced milk coffee less sugar) with breakfast. 

Realizing on my way back home that I hadn't yet taken my meds meant a possibility of another tachycardic episode, I quickly popped the pills and then....got to thinking. I have been popping at least 1 pill at least once a day ever since I was 15 and diagnosed with idiopathic hypertension. 

It might seem an insignificant act, this daily ritual, people take vitamins all their life. Being depressed meant I had consciously remind myself that I'm lucky that these chronic ailments can be kept in check, and that I am far, far luckier than those who are worse off than I. However, on my lower days, the dirty horrible thoughts and comparisons creep in, and I resent having to deal with a mostly automatic and subconscious act of swallowing these pills. 

Depression does that to me. Minutes slow down to a crawl, every movement has to be calculated and weighed against how much will I have to complete an action. I do not understand why I have these episodes, and constantly struggle to use my rational brain (while it is still accessible) to keep it at manageable. There are situational episodes which are at least, sort of explicable, this last one probably had something to do with a friend's father's funeral, triggering plenty of doubts and insecurities about current family situations. I have spent the better of the past 4 weeks trying to get out of bed, failing most of the time. 

I can also attribute my mood swings to these terrible monthlies, which are worsening with time. The prescriptions to manage the adenomyosis pains, though working, reminds me of the other 'miracle' drugs which staved off insanity in my mid-20's. I have been thinking of getting back on some anxiolytics, anxiety being the more pervasive issue than depression. With depression, though the amplitudes, frequency and wavelengths have shortened somewhat (physics whaaaat), anxiety is this high pitch and consistent whine that never abates. 

The many many doctors I've seen for my heart/hypertension (and I) suspect it to be the root cause of my condition. However, in order to get to the anti-anxiety medication, it is mandatory that I go back to see a psychiatrist, and that I could do without. Well. Actually maybe it would help, but I honestly do not feel as if there are underlying issues which I cannot cope with, and that this is more of a chemical imbalance that I've had since childhood. 

In any case, I decided to journal this because there's so much going on in my head, and this is something that requires more lateral thought. I think it has helped, I feel a bit calmer now and can think a little clearer. I'm not quite debilitated by the anxiety, and feel relieved by the knowledge that medication is always an option, and have to remember not to paint myself into a corner.
I had been giving Recasts a bit of thought recently, mostly because I had been on a rather fruitless (but in a few weeks/months maybe not??) search for a pair of high heeled feet for my Unoa. The high heeled feet option had been discontinued by Alchemic Labo, and after hunting for countless sleepless nights, my brain turned to recasts as an option.

Which totally disgusted me. Why? I'll come to that a little later. Nevertheless, I was curious, and went on a little google-hunt to see what exactly was available in the recast world.

Good thing the feet weren't, or I'd have this huge ethical dilemma. It did leave a bad taste in my mouth though, and after about an hour looking at multiple recast sites, and blogs defending their choices, I made a personal decision never to purchase a recast doll. It would seem almost every sculpt was available, in multiple colour choices etc. And the blogs, there was a recurring theme there, every single blogger defending their choice. 

Well, it's clear to me, the reason why they were defending it was they, for whatever reason, were unable to understand the process by which made their doll available at such an affordable price. But I shall not go into personal attacks cos, really, who has the time for that sort of drama? I will, however, be Ms Obvious and try to break down the process by which a 'legitimate' doll vs a 'recast' doll was made.

I have no intimate dealings with any doll companies, nor behind the scenes peek at how they are made, but having gone through the doll-making process (twice!) unsuccessfully, and viewing many doll artists' processes via their websites/blogs, here's what I have gathered.

'Legitimate' dolls:

1) Research - style, conceptualization, be it a sketch, rough sculpt, comparisons etc
2) Master - days, if not weeks, of sculpting, fitting (joints), sanding etc
3) Mold Creation + Test cast - for resin colour, quality, weak areas etc
4) Touching up - finishing touches for the doll before sending off to cast
5) Casting - ever wonder why the dolls aren't mass produced/require a long casting period? Resin tends to yellow over time, and the casting process requires a certain temperature range, so weather factors in as well. Also, the cost of resin is, although not bank breaking, rather a significant consideration due to the size of the dolls. Especially for independent doll artists or smaller doll companies.
6) Preparing the doll for delivery - Sanding of seams, quality control (bubbles?), faceups/blushings (where necessary)

Now, some companies hire more than just 1 artist to work on an individual doll, and the above excludes the costuming (design, manufacture, sewing) process. And that's a whole lengthy process altogether.

Total time from conception to delivery of EACH NEW SCULPT - weeks/months?

Recast dolls:
1) Research - style, conceptualization, be it a sketch, rough sculpt, comparisons etc
2) Master - days, if not weeks, of sculpting, fitting (joints), sanding etc

3) Mold Creation + Test cast - for resin colour, quality, weak areas etc
4) Touching up - finishing touches for the doll before sending off to cast
5) Casting - ever wonder why the dolls aren't mass produced/require a long casting period? Resin tends to yellow over time, and the casting process requires a certain temperature range, so weather factors in as well. Also, the cost of resin is, although not bank breaking, rather a significant consideration due to the size of the dolls. Especially for independent doll artists or smaller doll companies.
6) Preparing the doll for delivery - Sanding of seams, quality control (bubbles?), faceups/blushings (where necessary)

Total time from conception to delivery of Recast - days/weeks?

If it isn't already glaringly obvious, Recasts are THEFTS. There's no modification to the original, is a clear copyright infringement, and before anyone starts justifying their recast purchase, I would say, save it, I have no argument with you. It's your personal choice to be involved in the hobby, and this is my personal rationalization on why I find it worth the while to save up and purchase originals.

Moreover, I'm already pretty sure people already have their minds made up before deciding between the two, and actually, fear that by even bringing up the term, am giving the 'recast community' more exposure than is deserved. 

For more thought provoking views on the matter, you can read this journal entry (which prompted me to write this one!)

sdrcow.deviantart.com/journal/…

Remember to view the youtube video linked in the entry. She puts it very much better than I ever could, on how I feel about the whole deal.

Btw, the disgust at myself was at even considering looking into recasts just for a pair of high-heeled feet. I mean, Alchemic Labo had not re-released their Quluts (Sist/Lusis) since 2009(??) and it never EVER crossed my mind to get a re-cast! Thank goodness they had the pre-order this year, and it was sooooo worth the wait! Pity there was no high heel feet option though :( I finally settled for a pair of Little Harmony high heel feet from littlemonica.com, and although I'm pretty sure the resin won't be a match, it has put my mind at ease for the moment. Let's hope everything works out!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHIPPING NOTIFICATION RECEIVED

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Clover will have a friend joining her, possibly sister (which will be odd, since I don't have a sister and have no idea how sister-sister relationships are like. And I'm not all that imaginative so....we'll see how it goes XD), in a few days! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

She's my grail doll, and I had resisted writing about the purchase since there were no certainties that my order would go through, I'll write more into detail on my BJD blog when she's here. BOX OPENING ANYONE????

But in case anyone was wondering, she's a Unoa Sist, a belated birthday gift from my fiance (still feels weird using this term)..i've purchased additional faceplates to practice face ups on.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Also also! We've put down the option fee for our first place on Monday. The flat should be ready by 2018 latest, meanwhile, all I'm thinking is MINECRAFT as a theme. Fiance says no creepers allowed though XD XD 

GOOD CALL
So...it seems there is a new anniversary date to remember from today onwards ; )

The proposal was inelegant and yet extremely memorable, echoing how he asked me to be his girlfriend oh.....8 years ago? I am still recovering from the shock and cannot stop smiling.  No wonder I can't get to sleep XD

He picked out a really apt ring. Surprising because our tastes are so diverse but I love it cos it's kinda masculine, and has a slight hint of steampunk-ishness to it :) if it were up to me, I'd wear a lug nut..but he wouldn't stand for it :-/  Will bring it back tomorrow for resizing, they didn't have my size for this design...so right now it's on my pinky finger kekeke.

Also, the moment came as quite a shock to me. He had had a rather hectic week at work/school (part-time degree program)  with an important mid-term assignment due today, and me just recovering from yet-another-cold..... You know how girls are supposed to always anticipate and imagine how their wedding would be like? Well I have never done any of that, so it was very interesting to experience the sort of elation and light-headedness that I had just barely 2 hours ago :P

As I lay in my bed staring at my ring he went, "aren't you going to whatsapp D the ring?" LOL . He even prompted me to change my fb status, and we did so simultaneously.  But as things tend to go with us, fb comically picked one of our friend's photos as the 'icon' of our engagement status change (it was mis-tagged with our names!)

Anyhow, I have rambled on too long but I guess I can be forgiven for it :P

=stares at sparkly ring one last time in the dim glow of my handphone= :P :P :P


p.s. 1/3/14 is significant because in Mandarin and Cantonese it sounds very much like "one life, one lifetime" :)))

From Wikipedia:
1314: "一生一世" This sounds like "one life, one lifetime" in both Mandarin and Cantonese, and is often used romantically, akin to "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" in English.
As you can probably tell, he's the romantic in the relationship :P
It has recently been brought to my attention that I have some blog posts which -might- be deemed rude, and possibly driving readers away. And that I seem to be irritated by questions. I was a little surprised by the comment, and started going through this past year's worth of posts. Funnily enough, I didn't note any posts that seemed to come across as rude. and if I did seem more irritable than usual, there was always a disclaimer, or a personal note about why I was upset. So I gave it a little more thought, and I think this person must have read some of my older stuff, when I was still learning the basics...and getting immensely frustrated, thus posting the way I did.

It's no big secret that I don't reveal all my techniques, in fact, in my FAQ I state pretty clearly that I would not discuss it. You wanna know why? Cos I don't enjoy breaking down everything anymore, like I did in my early days. Back then, there seemed to be so much to learn, and I was afraid of forgetting, wanted a journal to refer to, and tried my best to be precise. But I started to stagnate! It seemed, all I did was macarons, cakes, cupcakes, donuts. I was getting sick of the repetition, and did not find it challenging. Interest in mini-making started to wane, and commission work meant I had to do more of what I was a little bored of doing. 

Then I learnt from a few close artist and miniaturist friends (they know they are!) that it was exactly that, which was my problem. I was too fixated on the technical aspects, and not 'organic' enough. It's not as important -how- I achieve my results, but that I do. In other words, I had to slowly re-work the way I think....which meant leaving behind decades of structured thought, and learning to view mini-making in a different way. I stopped looking for 'how' to do things (i.e. tutorials, miniature blogs etc) and turned towards the real world for inspiration. Meanwhile, there were a few more health and family issues that had to be dealt with, and that's always stressful. Miniature-making has always, ALWAYS been my way of dealing with life's stresses, my therapy, and anti-depressant. The BF constantly reminds me that my hobby is not supposed to stress me out!

Over the past year or so, I had considered whether I should shut down my blog, or perhaps move on to a more 'business-like' approach. But after much consideration and discussion, I decided to keep it, but tone down my personal stuff (which is why I started longer journal entries here) and concentrate on posting photos of my work. I think I've done that pretty well, up till yesterday :O But you know what, I am who I am, and I don't really enjoy reading 'business-like' blogs that concentrate on just promoting ones' work. I like reading blogs with 'personality', and that's what I had hoped to do when writing in mine. I also like looking through my old blog posts once or twice a year to see how far I've progressed, and where I should improve. Yanno, like a diary! Should the day come where I decide to do this 'professionally', I will take down everything and revamp snowfern.com. Till then, the blog stays, with all my quirks, tantrums and peeves.

So thank you for reading, and sticking with me. To all the haters, well, this is what I gotta say.

 

(Btw, does anyone know where this image originated from? I tried looking but all the links via google images seem to go nowhere :O )

aka, Happy New Year!

2013 was pretty shitty. people around me were hurt/sick, my health got worse (but am better/working on it now!), plans were delayed.....etc etc. stuff i don't really want to recall and is better left where they are, in the past.

BUT! like a warm reboot, things seem to be back to a manageable state, till the bugs creep back to the surface and jam up the system again. Till then, JUST KEEP SWIMMING!

have also updated the FAQ

There are several 'backburner' things that have been simmering over the past year, a few of which i've broached, like my adenomyosis/endometriosis diagnosis (painkillers/white phoenix pills to treat symptoms until I decide to go for a hysterectomy), weight issues (it seems everyone has them these days despite all the rah-rah about acceptance hurhur), Eva's bladder stone removal surgery.

There are others which i don't discuss simply because they are a little too personal and involve other people.

Which means not much emotional management in terms of rationalizing stuff. True, over-analysis is kind of 'my thing', but there's such a stigma to mental illness that makes it very trying for me to deal with whatever stupid backlash that comes with the mere hint of it. Although........

I DO NOT CARE WHAT STRANGERS THINK ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH. here's what I think to that:

t(-o-t) <----me yawning and flipping digits

I -do- care about how my friends and family think about how I manage it though. Never one for being 'mothered' - you'll read a little about why later - the hovering and attention bristles and annoys me. And please, don't 'pray' for me etc, I'm agnostic and loathe all the self-serving, masturbatory platitudes which just makes me rage all the more. 

Will rant about my anti-religion stance another time.

*deep inhalation and exhalation*

Having to deal with depression, anxiety and sleep issues since my first suicide attempt at 16, having been told by my then-psychiatrist that I had to see a CHILD psychiatrist even though I should be seeing a 'regular' one cos my emotional age did not match up to my intellectual one, THAT still grinds at me. EVERY FUCKING YEAR. Which might be telling, 22 years later, I'm still playing with toys XD XD XD

It is usually at this time of the year where my moods take a really big dip. I struggle, with mortality, with my mother's mental illness, with the alienation - my relationship with her, it, although no longer hostile, is neutral/passive-aggressive at best, and has been for over a decade. And of course, this journal appears one day before her birthday. =eyerolls=

This year, I really do not want to put up anymore of a pretense, the cake-cutting ritual is a farce, the thought of it is making me feel extremely nauseated. However, it must be done, to maintain a semblance of sanity in the household.

I swim, throw myself into making things, managing my health, try to sleep more than 4 hrs a day, try NOT to sleep more than 16 hrs a day. Distract, delay, delude.

"Long-term plans (TM)" have been coming to my conscious part of the brain, and it's extremely frightening, since I've never thought I'd survive beyond 17 years on this planet. I'm not suicidal, haven't been for months. Which is a pretty good record for the year. 


No wonder i'm so tired. Okay, I've given in and expelled a few of my negative thoughts. I hope to feel good enough to get some stuff done today.
  • Mood: Fear
  • Listening to: Haim - Falling
  • Reading: Johnathan Kellerman - Over The Edge
  • Playing: Hay Day &amp; Candy Crush Saga :X
  • Eating: Need Groceries
  • Drinking: Plain water
Felt like jotting down a few thoughts this morning. It would seem the bulk of my problems stem from an over-analytical and anxious disposition. Probably why I can only get things done when there's a deadline looming. Which sometimes seem contradictory, but when left with fewer choices the human mind seems to fair better (i.e., not over-stimulated). 

As a friend once said, "I think you think too much."

That is all.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: Great Sky Experiment - Wasted
  • Reading: Johnathan Kellerman - Over The Edge
  • Watching: Bruce Parry: Tribe
  • Playing: Hay Day &amp; Candy Crush Saga :X
  • Eating: Need Groceries
  • Drinking: Plain water
Yayyy pushed past my 500th sale today! ^_^ To celebrate, free shipping for orders above $50 (Refunded via paypal) for the month of July! 

www.etsy.com/shop/snowfern


  • Listening to: Death Cab For Cutie - What Sarah Said
  • Playing: Hay Day &amp; Candy Crush Saga :X
  • Eating: Need Groceries
  • Drinking: Plain water
Will you be in Singapore on November 10th 2013? If so, please drop by the Singapore Doll Carnival 2013! Asuka and I will be back, you can find full details on my blog:

clover-tea.blogspot.sg/2013/06/im-back-and-in-time-for-singapore-doll.html

and cross posted at my original blog:

snowfern-clover.blogspot.sg/2013/06/im-back-and-in-time-for-singapore-doll.html

I have been away for a while, mostly due to being busy for a large-ish commission, and various health reasons. The problems are mostly chronic, and won't go away anytime soon, so it's all down to lifestyle and pain management. Which means I'll still be grouchy and have bipolar tendencies, but I'm getting my stuff checked and hopefully there'll be a more permanent solution to all this uncertainty that is my life T-T.

Meanwhile, do look forward to more new works, as I'm very excited to be back in the swing of things (almost, shoulder still hurts really REALLY badly, more so when I type, which explains my online-absence).

<3,
Cindy
  • Listening to: Death Cab For Cutie - What Sarah Said
  • Playing: Hay Day &amp; Candy Crush Saga :X
  • Eating: Need Groceries
  • Drinking: Plain water
........and if the photos were taken to my satisfaction :D

spent the last few weeks moving furniture around in my room. The bed used to be right next to the window, and although I live on the 9th floor, there is a carpark just below my block of flats. Which means my sinuses are constantly irritated. After almost 6 years of living here, I'd also not unpacked my books from their boxes. Which is a sad thing (tm) since I do love my books, but seeing as how I can barely concentrate on any reading material longer than a paragraph


what was i saying?

oh yes, am listing the foods i made specially for the exhibit, some lovely photos can be viewed here:

www.figure.fm/en/post/44878/Meido+San+Cafe+EOY.html

For those who have asked about the bubble teas, thank you for your interest! They can be found in my store here:

www.etsy.com/shop/snowfern

(am in the midst of listing but got distracted by my music playlist.........)

OH yeah, which means that I've moved my work area right next to the window which also means more light = better photos (I HOPE!) YAY~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Listening to: Heartbeat - The Knife
  • Playing: Toy Defenders
  • Eating: Need Groceries
  • Drinking: Plain water
...of my new-new lap blanket :E

re: Weather the weather, although I really appreciated the gesture, the scratchy woollen blanket is far too warm for Singapore's climate. It's since been washed yet seen no use. While out windowshopping today (before Rurouni Kenshion, which was AWESOME btw) I saw that UNIQLO had a promotion, with every purchase of $100 entitled customers to a free FLEECE BLANKET OMGZORZWTFBBQ

bf willingly complied. :E our friend helped by purchasing a jacket, bf got himself a dapper black office shirt, i got a fleece jacket too!!! in a colour i never dared imagine myself wearing - bubblegum pink :O. oh, and the lap blanket thingy is in pink too :X I KNOW I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE I'VE AVOIDED PINK FOR MOST OF MY LIFE must be a middle-aged woman thing.

there's a lot left to complete, designing namecards (for self-print/cut since it's too late to order some) ((double bleargh on that task)), printing out logos for the theme, cake signages, drinks for the cafe etc.....and the event is this Sunday!!!! Head down to Marina Barrage this 9th December 2012!

Details here:

snowfern-clover.blogspot.sg/2012/11/see-you-on-9th-december-2012.html

AND AND AND the other news keeping me hyper, bf secretly arranged to get tickets for Legoland Malaysia!! WOOT WOOT!!! <3 Legos sooooo muchie!!!!

sooo many birthday pressies this year, feeling very spoilt and incredibly lucky.

hope i can get to sleep fast tonight :) wearing a smile, probably :P
Just got back from grocery shopping. Today's rain was a rather icy cold spray, with winds so strong I feared for my umbrella.

Since 'emerging' from this last round of depression, I've started on new-old routines of cooking and cleaning. Put myself on a low-fat, low-sugar diet. I'd put on so much weight over the last few years it's ...*rolls eyes at self* GRARGGGHHH. The wake up call was my blood test results. I don't know how they are now, but I've lost about 5kgs in a little over 6 weeks, just from 'eating right' and in (I hope) correct portions. Pretty pleased with that. :)

It is a bad time to start swimming again though. Monsoon season's upon us, and the weather's ....well. Here's a random (but related) side thought. Bf got me the most romantic pressie upon his return from a trip to Guangzhou. We had travelled to Taiwan together a few years back, survived it, and the only quibble we had on that trip was me wanting to take the flannel blanket off the plane with us, and him saying we're not allowed to. Now, I'm not a kleptomaniac nor do I support thievery, but in this case, I saw it as along the lines of taking-shampoo-and-soap-bottles-from-the-hotel-room type of inclusive service. He promised he would get me a flannel blanket of similar quality if I didn't take the blanket, but we've never been able to find one of the same size and comfort since.

He beckoned for me, and told me, "See, I got you a pressie. I love you so much I even stole a blanket for you."

*HEART MELTS*

Although it was not flannel (more of a scratchy wool type), it -was- from his return trip!! AND I CAN USE IT IN THIS SODDING WEATHER! We'll see how long that lasts, or if my allergies flare from it.

:)

(maybe I shouldn't be putting this down for the world to see?)

hee hee
While working on my roombox, I googled and surfed the net for various techniques, inspiration and ideas. I'm sure many of us do so from time to time, after all, nothing I have done/created has come from a vacuum. In my mind, creativity is a cumulation of exposure and retention, and if my brain happens to form connections between various seemingly unconnected ideas, something new can be formed.

Occasionally, bumbling around with materials at hand helps. Perhaps I am not so lucky (nor trained) to be able to mentally visualize what my projected outcome should be, and so often simply come up with variations upon others' hard work.

While working on the modern pendant lamps in 1:12, I came up with a fast and easy way to cut out the templates, and immediately thought of writing up a post/walkthrough on how to do so. However, the lamp was from a life-sized lamp Instructable, and although that Instructable took inspiration from ANOTHER Instructable, I felt that I still would either need to ask for permission, or at the very least credit both authors.

I am also very aware that ideas are non-copyrightable, and thus free to interpretation etc. However, I would never -ever- claim any idea nor technique as -my own- unless I did indeed come up with it, even so I cannot imagine that no one else in the whole wide world could have come up with an idea as clever as mine!!! But too often within my community of miniature and doll lovers do I come across petty claims of copying. I look away in disgust and want to have no part of that, so I strive hard to not look around -too much- within the circle, and instead look at the 1:1 world around me for inspiration.

What really upsets me is when people rip off existing ideas and techniques and claim them as their own. Worse, profit off freely available online workshops etc. Sure, I give it to them that they have put in their own hard work in taking photos/videos, editing, marketing of the idea, all that should amount to some sort of reward right?

So before deciding on whether to share my experiences on making the lamp, I asked myself these questions:

Q1) If I had drawn up my own template for the lamp, with my own measurements/modifications for 1:12, does that mean I have come up with enough variations to claim the right to make my own tutorial on it?

Q2) Should I come up with my own tutorial without asking for permission, I would DEFINITELY credit it since I feel it was based off of a basic geometric shape and had a generic enough look that I wouldn't inadvertently tread upon anyone's claim on it. But since I've put my own twist on things, come up with a faster/easier way to make it, and would provide a template with instructions, does this mean I can profit off it? i.e. sell the tutorial?

Q3) I also know that I have an existing readership base (be it blog/facebook/dA), and I understand that a number of them (you?) would be interested in -my- way of doing things. Since this is in miniature, there would be no conflict as I am not marketing to the general audience, instead to a specific group of people with specific interests. But does this make it 'okay'?


my answers would be:

A1) I do think so, and that my tutorial would be different enough (technique wise, outcome would be similar though) to be regarded as not directly copying the original tutorial.

A2) I wouldn't sell it, no way, I would simply 'pass along' the information with my take on it. Especially since the original source of information was free to begin with.

Though I imagine it would be a whole different can of worms if my original inspiration was a 'stolen idea' ergghhh let's not go there!

A3) Mixed bag of feelings on this one. This question is not specific to the previous 2 questions, and 'just in general'. One of the main reasons I have stopped making free tutorials is because it is alot of work involved, excluding trials and testing, and I have no other source of income. It would be great to be rewarded in monetary terms for my work. But too often, I also see too many tutorials here on dA and YT where people easily rehash tutorials and techniques available from books and popular tutorials (with too similar outcomes) WITHOUT CREDITING THEIR SOURCES. And i'm not talking about 'general techniques' either. and I can't go into specifics without naming names, and general bitching, so i'm not going there, but let's just say, i'm guessing quite a number of you will find this a pretty familiar scenario.

So what's the point in this journal entry really? Frankly, it is an exercise for me to get rid of my torturous and vacillating opinions on the topic of writing more free vs selling tutorials, and disgust at people (a number of whom i'd PREVIOUSLY respected) who rip off freely available knowledge to profit off their fanbase. I want to state clearly that I am not targeting any one person, this has been happening too often and I'm simply at my tipping point.

I know I'm overthinking this, but I think too many people don't even lend a thought to this subject matter. Anyhow, these are my thoughts on it, now lend me yours :) If you think my perspectives might be too paranoid, spot-on, etc, LET ME KNOW. I'd love to hear what people think and feel about the above.